A WARM SUNRISE BEFORE THE WIND, ACTION!

As I was rinsing roasted green chile skin off my fingers, after having prepared an extra-sharp cheese with tomato sandwich, and about to top it off with the green chile flesh, I was thinking about writing. It’s been a while. I did write some poetry amid the pandemic, but it seems like it will never end now. After having a low-key “breakout” case of Covid-19 in August – likely the delta variant – even after having had two inoculations against the damned virus, I found myself swamped with background work for movies and TV shows in September, October, and November. I managed to get on the Better Call Saul TV series again, in their last season, as I had hoped. It’s only background work, but it’s safer than being in a western these days. Speaking of which, yes, I was indeed on the movie set of Rust, one cold, rainy day about a week before the shooting. Alex Baldwin was not there that day. Usually one does not speak about being on a production, or who was in it until that movie or episode is released, but that movie is never going to be finished, never going to be seen.

I did not know or meet the cinematographer Halyna Hutchins, but she was ever-present that day. One of the scenes involved my standing next to the main camera as it rolled by on a dolly track. The camera went into a building while I looked on, standing perfectly still. The camera was just a couple inches from me, and one cannot step on or kick a dolly track, or bump the camera. Then they turned the camera around to catch us lookie-loos staring into a dramatic murder trial.

Halyna had a strong Eastern European accent, and I heard a few recognizable Russian words coming from her. I did not know who she was at the time – background actors are given few details about much of anything on set – but I saw this woman hovering around the cameras constantly, checking angles, lenses, lighting, etc. Every time I heard that accent, I turned, and there she was again. I did know a camera assistant there whom I have the random pleasure of running into from time to time. He was the man behind the camera on a seven-minute short in which I had my first speaking role. He spoke at a candlelight vigil for Halyna, and how they worked together, how they were both camera nerds, loving the business, trying new lenses, new angles and such. He was nearly overcome with grief and left hurriedly after speaking – a brief hug and he was gone. If you’re interested, there is a scholarship in Halyna’s name now.

I’ve been by the ranch where Rust was being shot. The last time I saw it was over the course of three days I spent further down the same road on another ranch – life goes on – on another western set for a completely different movie. I passed that locked gate six times. It was never opened. I don’t know how long that ranch will be shut down. Many movies are usually shot there, sometimes concurrently.

The production I was on this time was centered around some well-known western characters. One morning, after passing the sadly locked, guarded, and well-lit gate again, I arrived on this other set well before anyone else, even the crew. I’d been told to come back the night before, but the time I’d been given was changed later that night, and I didn’t get the text. I was there a bit before 7 am. It was still dark. I knew something was wrong when I saw no other vehicles coming and going, and no one was there with a flashlight to guide me into the rustic site. I walked around for a bit, tossing my thick jacket back into the car, because it was unusually warm, seeing as the sun was not yet visible above the horizon. There was nothing to do, so I sat and watched the sunrise. I enjoyed that. I thought about nothing. I just enjoyed the rainbow colors, the brightening sky, the mountains, and the warm quiet. As soon as the sun was full “up”, the wind started. I had to go back for my jacket, thankful that I’d brought a warm navy peacoat with me. One car showed up. It was a security guard, a Navajo woman, and we talked a bit. It was nice to see a friendly face in that deserted place. I remember her name as Doreen, but I have trouble remembering names.

As the sky lightened, I noticed something gleaming in the dirt near where the action was the night before. It was a knife, shiny and clean. When people began showing up I asked around, but no one in the production staff or the film crew identified it as theirs. I figured some grip had been using it to help cut and strip wires, but I was never able to return it to its owner. Perhaps it belonged to the horse wrangler that was there the day before, but I hadn’t thought of him until just now. The knife is likely a handy tool for cutting rope or leather, I’d imagine. There are strict rules regarding weapons on set, and no actor can bring one on set, but this reminded me more of a tool. I found out that it is a type of curved one-piece steel knife called a karambit, with a big hole in the grip part. With my hand wrapped around the grip, my pinky fit right into that hole – a good defensive weapon. It’s not legal to conceal carry such a knife in New Mexico, so perhaps that’s why no one claimed it. When I mentioned it to a PA (production assistant), he freaked out a bit, anxiously asking me if I had it on me, so I had to reassure him that it was safely stashed in my car. Safety is a big concern on movie and TV sets, and with the recent focus on the shooting death down the road from us, he was rightly concerned.

I was pretty damn excited to be there that day because there was a good possibility that I was to have an actual speaking part in a small scene. After breakfast, and after sitting on my ass for some time, which is part of a typical day on a movie set for background actors, I did get some lines. I rounded up another extra and we wandered off to a nearby horse trail to rehearse the scene. I had to be really worked up to deliver these lines in character, so I spent some time after I learned the lines running up and down that trail. I got the lines down pat and had a good idea of who I was and how I’d react to the news I was giving, and what else I’d feel. Later, I went looking for the AD (assistant director) who had given me the lines. I saw her in a serious discussion with someone and waited quietly off to the side.

She finally mentioned me to the man she was speaking with. He turned out to be the picture’s director. I mentioned earlier that we background rarely know much, but it’s just as well. Most times I’d never have a reason to speak with a director, actor, or crew, other than the PA who wrangled the background actors. But the AD told him I could do that scene. It was a scene added by the writer because the actor who would have given those lines was no longer on set, and the lines were necessary to set up a chase scene. So, the director turns to me and says, “OK. Do it.” He meant right now, right there. I must have blinked, because he added, “Just give me the lines straight,” which I could easily do. When you add emotion into a scene, sometimes the lines give way to your character’s mental state, and you end up winging parts of it. But, I knew the lines, and rattled ’em off, with a pause between each line to react to what the other actor would be saying. When I finished, the director gave me a big thumbs-up, and said, “You’re hired.” Those are the best words I could have heard, better than hearing, “We are wrapped,” after long days and nights on a set. I was elated.

Alas, hours later, I found out that they had decided they had no time to do that scene and dropped it. We were indeed wrapped. However, I was still happy to have had something to do, something that would further my craft. And those magic words from the director had really buoyed my spirits. I do like acting. And being on set. This was the last day. The few background actors still around had been asked to stay and help pack things up, which I was only too happy to do. And we’d get a bit more money for doing so. It was a non-union set, and we were paid in cash.

Since then, Tina Fey was in a nearby town, and while I didn’t get to meet her, I was very happy to see her up close. She really is gorgeous, especially with the New Mexico sun lighting her face like a golden sunrise. I’ve always admired her since her Saturday Night Live days. Her witty writing appealed to me. She made me laugh out loud with her Sarah Palin impersonations. Her acting on 30 Rock and her dramatic role in the movie Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, which was shot in New Mexico, had made me a solid fan of her work. I knew she was good-looking. I loved her look in glasses. But I had never realized just how strikingly beautiful her face is. Lovely woman.

Recently I rode my motorcycle out of town to be on a movie set. They needed four motorcycles.

It wasn’t too far away, but the temperature in the early morning was in the mid-20s, and construction on that portion of Interstate 40 had traffic bogged down at times behind an endless line of bumper-to-bumper semis. It took much longer to get there than I like in that kind of freezing weather. I researched the wind chill factor; it turned out that at 75 mph in 25°F weather, I was chilled to 1°F. We worked a long day after that, and I wasn’t looking forward to that cold, dark ride home among those long lines of trucks. Even though I just then found out that my taillight had burned out, I started back, sandwiched between two other riders. However, we got separated, and I wasn’t up for racing by those trucks each time a lane opened back up, jack-rabbiting from truck to truck at high speeds. It turned out I was exhausted from being up hours before dawn, that cold ride, and the long day of work, so l did not feel safe. I pulled into a Casino lot a half-hour from Albuquerque to rest a bit, but as soon as I saw the motel there, parked, and got a bite to eat, I got a not-cheap room and passed out on a soft bed. Breakfast was free. I hated to waste most of what little money I had just made, but I made it home in one piece, well-rested, well-fed, and happy.

But, I have a script now. It’s for a movie I know little about, like when it will shoot, where it will be shot, or if it will ever be seen if it is shot, but I enjoy working a character, forcing my mind to work, to memorize, to learn, to not act, to just be.

And then I just today applied to work on another project that will shoot all this month, and I’m ready for that. I’d like a speaking role. They want people who are athletic enough “to run, jump, and do minor fight scenes.”

After 8 and 1/2 years of winery work: cleaning ditches, irrigating, picking fruit, bottling wine, handling thousands of cases of wine every year, lifting 14-gallon demijohns, cleaning empty wine tanks, planting fruit trees, and after climbing mountains all that time, having run three half-marathons, having poured molten bronze years before that, having worked for a carnival before that, and having bicycled across the country before all of that, I’m ready. I’m quite a bit older, but still fit enough. Bring it on.